A Treatise on “They”
Alice Scarlet Death
Many people choose to use ‘they’ as a pronoun. Generally nonbinary and other gender noncomforming types of people. I identify as a nonbinary transwoman, but I use She/Her as my pronouns. I don’t like ‘they’ — at least for myself. And here’s why:
My anxiety and PTSD makes me feel disconnected from people pretty often. I tend to use ‘they’ for people most of the time in general because of that. It’s less so about which pronouns they use, and the fact that I’m using they in a traditional sense.
They is plural.
They implies distance.
Distance. Whether physically or mentally. That’s the crux of my troubles with they. Everyone makes it sound like they is terrible because of its occasional use as a distant plurality.
That’s not why I’m against using it for myself. My issue is that I need to know who I am, which is very difficult with BPD and identity issues. Using abstract pronouns instead of concrete ones gets awkward for me. Personally, I’d like to use another pronoun for what my identity is. But they is bad for my mental health, and that’s why I’m choosing not to use it. Preconceived notions bout its impartiality and abstract distance doesn’t help me get better.
I like using She/her. It feels right, and it gives me a general feel for where I am on the spectrum. If we could come up with a nonbinary transwoman pronoun I’d probably use that.
