My Asexual Story
Alice Scarlet Death
I’ve a confession to make. I used to identify as demisexual and gender fluid. This was just whn the internet started saying gender is a social construct meme. I had not heard of nonbinary. It was more of a “Gender is not binary” and we weren’t really using nonbinnary as an identity yet. I mean I knew I wanted to be a woman since i was very young but i also agreed that gender was on a spectrum, so i felt like it would be more accurate to say gender fluid. Either that, or it was the safest way to exist in Nashville at the time.
I was demisexual, but I couldn’t handle all the questions implying that i was just choosy, or that this was how it is for everyone. This was also before i knew an asexual spectrum existed. And once I did, I swiftly changed to the blanket term: Gray asexual; moreover, I started using “Gray Lesbian” on a lot of my profiles.
Similar story with being aromantic. I didn’t know what that was, and I didn’t understand the difference bvetween romance and co-dependency. Which ultimately made me realize I was just using most of partners for emotional and financial support, but I was never really attracted to any of them. I just needed a sense of security. When I finally realized I had been making ineffective choices regarding partners, I was single for three years. And I had moved to Seattle by this point and I joined this server and learned so much more. I learned about the split attraction model. And then eventually some jerk made me mod, and now I’ve been very vocal through blogging and fb posts trying to explain to people how asexuality and gender works.
I feel like I owe a lot to the asexual communities, and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone there for being so supportive
