My Experience and Rant on Gray Asexuality
Alice Scarlet Death
I shared this on facebook recently, and got some good feedback. I felt like it might be worth documenting on my blog.
In the asexual community, most of the discourse understands the basic premise is that it’s on a spectrum. I’ve been saying “oh, I’m asexual” because it’s convenient. And I forget what kind of impact that can have on people who are not as familiar. To be clear, I am gray asexual. Four years ago, I said I was demisexual, but that relies on a connection, and Im not like that. Gray means that I do not feel sexual attraction by and large. Sexual energy and attraction are foreign to me. However, I do feel platonic and aesthetic attraction. Together, this entails that, yes, I can crush on people, but never for the same reason someone who feel sexual attraction does.
I can engage in sexual activity. To me, sex is literally categorized in my head as any other societal form of bonding. It might make my partner happy. I still feel the physiological responses from sex acts. And they don’t feel bad. I just don’t have an attraction there. If we have a platonic relationship and I say something you think is sexual or romantic, it’s not. It might just be me wanting attention or validation in the form human contact. I have little issue doing what it takes to make my partner happy, but im also autistic and not a mind reader so just be direct with what you want. Social cues, yikes.
But yeah, I feel like there’s this impression I’m completely sexless and completely uninterested in anything intimate ever. This is false. And aromantic people can go on dates btw. Who doesn’t love good food and good conversation and maybe being a little vulnerable?
