Step Two: Alcoholics Anonymous from A Thelemic Perspective
Alice Scarlet Death
Some of my readers may not know this but I’ve been going to Alcoholics Anonymous support groups for pretty much the entirety of 2019. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I found a sponsor and began to do the step work. The second step wants you to come to believe that a higher power can restore you to sanity. For a long time I had misunderstood what this was supposed to mean. This article was originally a post I made in a group. I have not made any changes to it. I wrote it to explain the processes I took to make the jump from thinking Alcoholics Anonymous required a believe in God to accepting that their concept of higher power is compatible with my Thelemic beliefs that every person is their own divinity.
I am currently working on step 2. Before I had given AA a real shot, I was convinced this program wasn’t a fit for me.
I support the Thelemic viewpoint on divinity. For a time I thought they were incompatible with my non-secular viewpoint of AA’s god.
But the more people I talked to, and the more I read of the big book the more I realized God could be anything. Then I thought it was Incompatible with the purpose of giving everything to to a higher power. There is no part of me that is not of the gods. Every man and woman is a star. I thought, the point was to give it to something higher whereasy belief system suggested everything was a higher power. How can I give it to a higher power of my higher power is myself?
And that’s when I remembered. The first chapter of Book 4. The reasons to practice raja yoga and it’s tendency to improve the efficacy of rituals by creating a psychodrama to force yourself to truly be in the moment and master your own self.
My hangups about my belief system contradicting the AA steps burdened my mind and was an excuse for not seeking help. Not to mention the initial hesitation of the general non-secular disposition of AA historically.
Then I found a peer support facility here in Seattle. I found a wonderful AA group and I have learned a lot from going there. Slowly but surely my mind got past the preconceived notions I had. My fears were addressed and my anxiety receded.
AA is step work and I have decided to treat it like you would with any working or ritual. By being in the moment and being open to the symbolism I had begun my work using psychodrama to treat the AA steps analogous. Through magick I can make anything feel real for me.
AA isn’t there to convert anyone to Christianity. It’s there to help you learn behavior needed to quit a substance. If I am to truly benefit I have to give myself to the program. Regardless of my philosophical differences on divinity. I don’t have to believe In a higher power to gain the benefits of admitting I am not in control. I can admit this. And put that load onto something beyond myself. What is beyond? That isn’t relevant. All that matters is that I believe in what I’m doing, the steps, and myself.
